Self-Care In The Time Of Coronavirus

self-care in the time of coronavirus

With social distancing serving as the new catchphrase and entire countries under quarantine, I think I speak for us all when I say, “I’ve had my three month free trial of 2020, and I’d like to return it now.”

This sucks. This completely sucks, and what sucks even more than people dying in droves is the number of people who blatantly disregard orders to stay at home. I get it. You’re bored. You want to go see a movie or go to Sephora. So do I. But you know what I want more than that? For my mom, who is battling cancer, to stay alive. I want people like me, who have shitty immune systems, to stay alive. My mom has lung cancer. I have scarred lungs from Swine Flu. If you need to put a human face to the tragedy to make it real for you, I’m begging you: please don’t kill my mom. Please don’t kill me.

Most of us are stuck between “this is the perfect time for me to get my shit together” and “this is a time of crisis, so I don’t have to do shit.” As kids today say, big mood. Here’s the thing: you don’t have to create a lasting work of art while in isolation because that’s what Shakespeare did during the plague. What you have to do — for your family as well as yourself — is to take care of yourself.

Mental health matters, perhaps now more than ever. Associate Professor Solveig Merete Klæbo Reitan of the Norwegian University of Science and Technology says there’s a direct link between mental health and immune health: “We know that people with mental disorders are also more susceptible to various inflammations in the body and to immune system disorders. This indicates that an interaction exists.”

“But I don’t have a mental disorder!” Stress may not be a psychiatric illness, but it is a form of disordered thinking. I don’t mean basic stress like, “Oh, shit, I’m stuck in traffic. I’ll be late to my meeting.” That happens to everyone. It’s unsettling, but true stress can be defined as the degree to which you feel overwhelmed or unable to cope as a result of pressures that are unmanageable. And, right now, that’s happening to a lot of us, too. This is a frightening thing the likes of which many of us have never faced before. It’s overwhelming, and some of us are having trouble coping. What we need right now are ways to help us cope, and I’ve put together a list of my favorites self-care tips.

self-care during covid-19

1.) Break the cycle: Doing your research is great. Taking precautions is smart. But if you find yourself obsessively refreshing the COVID-19 map, it’s time to ask yourself, “Have I been here today? Is there any reason to revisit this page right now? Is it worth the anxiety it will cause me?” Stopping the thoughts that lead to panic in their tracks is often easier said than done, but give it a try. When you find yourself going down that road, stop, thank your anxiety for trying to protect you, and think of something else.

2.) Be your own best friend: Yes, really. Would you tell your best friend her skin looks like shit? Or point out that she’s too fat to wear those jeans? Of course not! So why are you looking in the mirror and saying it to yourself? Your internal monologue is so important. Just like being insulted by others impacts our self-esteem, insulting ourselves does the same thing. Stop it. Just stop. You are enough just the way you are. If you’re worried about your skin, FaceTime a dermatologist. If your health is suffering because of your weight, then research meal plans you can stick to. Never do anything because society tells you it’s expected of you. Do it for yourself, and support yourself along the way.

3.) Marie Kondo the shit out of your house: A study conducted by Ghent University states there is a connection between materialism and depression, and Rik Pieters of Tilburg University found a direct link between materialism and increasing loneliness over time. When you’re bored and want to feel productive, get in your closet and clear out things you don’t wear anymore. Hanging onto those skinny jeans you’ve had since college in the hope of fitting into them again isn’t helping. If you find yourself back in the same size you wore during college, buy a new pair of jeans to celebrate, and get rid of an old pair to make room. You don’t need a bunch of shit to prove how successful you are. Your happiness is the true measure of success, not the amount of clutter in your home.

4.) Stop kicking your own ass: I’m sure it’s not just me — the first week of this pandemic was like stepping into a time machine. I found myself reviewing every mistake I’ve ever made under a microscope. “Why didn’t I think I was smart enough to go to med school? I could be saving lives right now!” and “I hope my ex knows how incredibly sorry I am; I’d take it back it I could,” and “I hope my idiot ex is having fun in jail; that’s what you get for dealing drugs, scumbag! Why did I even like you?” Stop. Cut it out. Unless the Doctor shows up in the TARDIS and announces that lawlessness briefly applies to time-space, and you can go back in time and change one thing in your past, or you manage to nick the Time Stone from Thanos, what’s done is done. You can’t change it, so stop dwelling on it.

self-care during coronapocalypse

5.) Invest in yourself: Take an online class. Teach yourself to paint — Bob Ross will teach you from the great beyond thanks to his eternal YouTube channel. Learn to play piano. Start baking! (I have several delicious vegan recipes up on my Instagram, and I promise you’ll love them all.) Now is the perfect time to learn something new. Not only will it engage your brain so you have less time for those it’s-the-zombie-apocalypse-for-real thoughts that have been plaguing us all, but you’ll walk away feeling more confident in yourself.

6.) Stop shit-talking yourself: Yeah, okay, I’ll admit it. Looking in the mirror and saying, “I’m awesome!” does feel incredibly silly. But here’s the thing: it works. A 2014 study in the Annual Review of Psychology found that daily affirmations improve your mental health and boost your self-esteem. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme or cheesy. Start small. Just look in the mirror, paraphrase “Desiderata,” and say, “I am a child of the universe, and I have a right to be here.” Or, if you’re the go-big-or-go-home type, sing “Born This Way” at the top of your lungs into your hairbrush. I won’t judge. (And, let’s be real, it totally beats singing “Bye, Corona” to the tune of “My Sharona” or “COVID-19” to the tune of “Come On, Eileen.”)

7.) Laugh your ass off: If you’ve never watched The Golden Girls, here’s your chance. You will laugh. A lot. “Laughter is the best medicine” is a cliché for a reason, and don’t just take my word for it. According to the Journal of Neuroscience, it releases endorphins, a natural mood-booster.

8.) Treat yourself to an at-home spa day: If you’re working from home and don’t need to show your face during a Zoom meeting, slather yourself in your favorite mud mask and coat your hair in coconut oil. Or maybe your boss is super cool and wears a mud mask, too. Have a Shrek party where you’re all painted up green!

self-care during quarantine

9.) Become a beauty guru: All you need is creativity, YouTube tutorials, and makeup. Always wanted to perfect your winged liner? Practice makes perfect, and this is the time to practice. Pull out your favorite red lipstick and slap it on to grab your mail. Is it a major thing? No, not really. It’s not even beneficial to your skin like a mask is, but if playing around with your makeup makes you feel better, then go for it!

10.) Stay active: You don’t need an in-home gym to do this. Do some crunches. Use soup cans as weights. Dance in your living room. Like laughter, exercise releases endorphins, so you’ll feel better in the long run. I’m not promoting it as a cure-all. Exercising won’t cure your depression or fix your love life, but it’s all about achievable goals. You won’t develop a six-pack in a month, but you can start developing the habit of working out that may one day lead to one.

How do you practice self-care? Sound off in the comments. Let’s give each other ideas! Stay safe, stay home, and stop hoarding toilet paper.

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And The Winner Is… Oscars 2020 Best Of Beauty And Fashion

Hi, everybody. Long time, no see!

I’m currently under the weather (again), and I’ve had a lot going on lately. Namely, my baby boy, Binx, had violent diarrhea and fever, and I was absolutely terrified it was something like FIP (Feline Infectious Peritonitis, which is a rare but fatal immune response to infection caused by feline coronavirus.)

Binx did two rounds of antibiotics and cleared up on his prescription diet, but when I began to ease him back into his old diet, the diarrhea came back. Mystery solved! It’s a food intolerance. I switched him to a grain-free food, and he’s back to climbing the shower curtain like normal.  You can see video of him climbing on my Instagram.

Now that Binx is feeling better, I’m slowly but surely plodding my way through the list of posts I’ve left on the back-burner, but after the Oscars last night, I had to share my absolute favorites. (I don’t actually watch the ceremony. I really only care the beauty and fashion because I think the awards are rigged. Sorry, not sorry.)

In no particular order because I still can’t choose my absolute favorite:

1.) Natalie Portman: Fun fact: the names of snubbed female directors were embroidered onto her cape. Gorgeous. Also, her hair is so perfectly undone.

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2.) Zazie Beetz: Seriously, everything about this is killer. Google a close up of her nails. Even her manicure is perfect.

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3.) Charlize Theron: I love the simplicity of the bodice combined with that killer train. When does this woman not look like a snack? (Hint: The answer is never.)

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4.) Rooney Mara: If Rooney’s on the red carpet, she’s on my Best Dressed list. I love her gothic flair. She never strays from her roots, and she always looks amazing.

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5.) Mindy Kaling: Look, guys, some color on my Best Dressed list! That saffron yellow is absolutely dreamy with her caramel skin. Guh.

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6.) Geena Davis: This woman is 64 years old, y’all. You read that right. Sixty-four. The hair, the dress, the makeup… All flawless. I wish I looked this good now.

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7.) Beanie Feldstein: I love the Old Hollywood hair and the neckline of this dress. So lovely and fairytale-inspired without looking like a costume.

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8.) Brie Larson: Rose gold perfection, am I right? I love the cape trend. Too bad it’s not wearable in real life. Or with a house full of cats.

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9.) Janelle Monáe: If the Oscar statuettes were silver… God, this is dreamy. I love the hood and how fresh her skin looks. Just stunning.

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10.) Scarlett Johansson: I love the simple hair and makeup paired with the sheen of the gown and her peekaboo rib tattoos. It’s punk, but it’s glam punk.

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What do you think of my favorites? Did I leave off any of yours? Lemme know in the comments!

Where I’ve Been

So… as you may have noticed, I kind of went MIA for a bit, but it’s with good reason. Not only have I been sick as death, but I also became a new kitten mommy to five kittens rescued from death row! (Please, please, please adopt and don’t shop. You’re saving lives.) Two of these precious babies are my aunt and uncle’s, but the other three darlings are my new kitten children. I love them all so much.

Best. Christmas. Ever.

baby binx

This gorgeous little guy is Thackery Binx. We first met when he took a flying leap into my arms, kissed my nose, and stole my heart. He’s honestly the most affectionate kitten in the world, and he’s such a Mama’s Boy. He loves sleeping in his basket, nose kisses, and eating my mom’s toast.

baby ash

Say hello to Ash Tyler. She (yup, she’s a girl; fans of Star Trek Discovery will totally see the humor in naming a tiny girl kitten Ash Tyler) is the littlest kitten of the group, but she certainly insists upon herself. My tiny girl is feisty but has such a sweet personality. She loves hugs and chin-scratches more than life itself.

binx and logan

Binx with Logan (Howlett, named after Wolverine because my mom is as much of a nerd as I am). Logan is also a little girl, and her hobbies include clawing my arms (yeah, she’s totally a mini-Wolverine), jumping over her siblings like an Olympic athlete, and collapsing her playpens so she can lie on them. (Excuse the mess. They’ve shredded their cardboard house all over the floor, and I paused in the middle of unpacking a box to take this shot while they were semi-still. Photographing hyper kittens is hard, y’all.)

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Simone, Frodo, and Binx. Simone has the cutest little blotch on the side of her nose, and she has more coloring on her torso than her brother. Simone is the shy one, but she loves to wrestle with her brother. She is also in love with my big boy, Sarek, and follows him everywhere. She’s my aunt’s baby, but I want to kidnap her so badly. Frodo is my uncle’s boy, and he loves play-fighting with Binx, stealing stuffed animals that are bigger than he is, and jumping in my mom’s plate.

simone kitten

A close-up of Simone’s precious little face. She actually didn’t like me at first, which has never happened before. I’ve been warned by friends that their grumpy old cat hates everyone only to wind up with said cat curled up on my lap, so I was heartbroken when little Simone ran away from me each time I tried to pet her. Then I woke up one morning and found her curled up at the foot of my bed, and we’ve been friends ever since.

They all have such distinctive personalities, and I love them beyond words. I also love that Binx looks like a long-haired version of Sarek, Ash resembles Evil, and Logan looks a lot like Teeny. This year has been pretty rough, but now it all feels worth it when I look at these little darlings and think, “You wouldn’t be alive now if we hadn’t taken you in.”

They’re hyper, and they’re definitely a lot of work, but when I think about how much they’ve enriched my life in the short time I’ve known them, I have no regrets. Please consider visiting a shelter and adopting this Christmas, and if you can’t, donations always help. I’ll link a few resources below. I’m not sponsored by any of them; I just think it’s a great cause.

Happy holidays, y’all. I hope you have fun!

Best Friends

ASPCA

Humane Society

LEAH Ancient Winter Album Review

LEAH-Ancient-Winter-front

With Ancient Winter, her winter-themed album comprised of original tracks and modern interpretations of medieval hymns, Leah, often dubbed “the metal Enya,” is here to astound you. Imagine freshly fallen snow, the rich scent of pine, hot cinnamon apple cider, and the smoky warmth of a roaring fire, and you’ve barely glimpsed the essence of Ancient Winter.

Fans of metal will be delighted by Leah’s soaring vocals, not to mention the cast of artists joining her on the album, the likes of which include Anna Murphy from Cellar Darling, Troy Donockley from Nightwish, Shir-Ran Yinon from Eluveitie, and more. And non-metal fans will be in for a treat, as Ancient Winter has a decidedly less symphonic feel than Leah’s previous five albums, leaning instead toward Celtic and folk traditions. Leah’s powerful vocals pair equally well with fiddles and harps as they do with electric guitars and synthesizers, proving her to be one of the most versatile artists to date. She uses her voice as an instrument, at once emotional and perfectly controlled.

Ancient Winter is a departure from the norm for Leah — the almost Middle Eastern sound to the album’s first single “Light of the World”  is unlike anything we have ever heard from her before — yet the Celtic roots we know and love form a solid trunk for the album, its more experimental qualities serving as musical branches. She effortlessly dodges the more clichéd, cookie-cutter aspects of Celtic and World music, adding her own, distinctly Leah flair. This feels like a debut into an as-of-yet-discovered genre, one only Leah could breathe into being.

There is an unmistakable duality that weaves its way through the tracks brought to life on Ancient Winter, simple old hymns paired with modern instrumentation, a wintery album that doesn’t feel commercial. A transformative experience, Ancient Winter manages to feel ancient and modern all at once. The tracks found on Ancient Winter would not have sounded remotely out of place in an episode of Game of Thrones or in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. But Leah’s work also feels entirely fresh as the temperatures drop and our excitement for the holiday season grows.

And for those who might feel a twinge of confusion at Leah’s departure from her earlier albums, there is nothing more metal than flying in the face of convention. Leah could have stuck to the status quo, as some artists do, creating a discography where one album bleeds into the next. That can create a pleasant, if formulaic, listening experience, but Leah wants us engaged. She wants our hearts to keep time with the drums one moment and for a serene, dreamy feel to overtake us the next. Thanks to her expressive vocals and the unique atmosphere Ancient Winter creates, we can only go along for the ride.

I give Ancient Winter a solid 10/10. Ancient Winter was released on November 15, 2019 by Ex Cathera Records. It can be purchased on Leah’s website, Amazon, and iTunes.

6 Types Of Friends You Don’t Need

six types of friends to avoid

Friendships are vitally important for our happiness; everybody knows that. The exploration of close friendships has been integral to the success of pop culture hits that run the gamut from the obviously-titled Friends to Marvel’s sprawling Avengers franchise. A University of Michigan study found that friends, not family, help you to live a longer, happier life. And this is especially true for women. One study found that over half of the women interviewed valued their relationship with their best friend more than their relationship with their husband.

In school, popularity is defined by how many friends you have. If everybody loves you, then you’re one of the elite few who can claim they’re one of The Cool Kids. As adults, research shows the number of close friendships we actually need might be a lot smaller than our high school days led us to believe.

The aforementioned study found that those who reported maximum happiness had between 4-5 close friendships, with those who had 2-3 coming right behind them on the satisfaction scale. Don’t worry if you only have one close friend. You’re still 50 percent happier than those who report having only acquaintances.

So if we don’t need that many close friends, we can afford to be a little picky about who we let into our inner circle.

First, let’s differentiate the various types of friendships. According to Aristotle, there are really only three types of friendships:

1.) Friendships of utility: These are the people you chat with at work but don’t really know, that one mom you share carpool duties with but aren’t close to, the mechanic who fixes your car without charging you an arm and a leg. These friendships serve a function. They keep the workplace civilized, help to lessen the daily work load, and fuel business transactions.

2.) Friendships of pleasure: This is that guy or girl you like to hook up with when you’re between relationships, your workout partner, or a group of buddies you only really hang out with during football season. You come together for mutual enjoyment, and you share at least one common interest, but you wouldn’t call them at 2 in the morning ugly-crying because you just got mugged. Or possibly need bail money.

3.) Friendships of virtue: The tried and true friends. These are the ones you can call at 2 am for any reason, because they know if you’re calling them at the crack of why-are-you-awake, something is horribly wrong. They’re the ones who know the real story behind why you have a tattoo of Pikachu dancing the Harlem Shake. (I don’t have that tattoo, but wouldn’t it be amazingly bad?)

avoid constant negativity

Now that we have a better understanding of the three main types of friendships, we can delve into the nitty gritty the six types of friends you don’t need to count as one of your close friends. And, more importantly, why.

1.) The Soap Opera Star: You know the type. Everything is always about her. She always has to one-up everyone around her. When you get a new car, she gets a better, more expensive car. When one of your friends gets pregnant, she announces she’s going to have IVF so she stands a higher chance of having twins. When you have a cold, she suddenly has the worst case of the flu, and would you please bring her some chicken soup? And on and on it goes.

Not only is it catty and immature, but it’s given you heartburn and a new gray streak in your hair because the non-stop competition is driving you crazy. If she’s really fun to go clubbing with, knock her down from the inner circle to a friend you see once in a blue moon. Who knows? Maybe she’ll realize her friends are distancing themselves and ask herself why. It’s unlikely because these people tend to be shallow and self-absorbed, but anything is possible. But until that day, keep her at a distance.

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2.) The Gossip Girl: You’re having a bad day. Something truly horrendous is going on, and you have to tell someone. You swear her to secrecy on pain of death, and she promises to never tell a soul. And yet… the next morning, you have 17 texts, 8 voice mails, and 5 messages on Instagram, all asking what the hell happened, and are you okay? Wait, what?! You will never make the mistake of trusting her again. Hopefully.

The good news is that gossips are easy enough to spot in advance. You know the type. “Don’t ever tell her I told you, but Sarah is leaving Steve!” If she’s telling you Sarah’s business, don’t you think she’s going to tell someone yours? Exactly. Cut this one out of your life. Even if she’s fun. Even if she’s “so sweet.” Because she is going to talk about you, and if you don’t give her anything to talk about, she might just make something up.

3.) The Reverse Cheerleader: You have a new job, and you’re super excited. You can’t believe something this amazing has happened to you. All your other friends congratulate you, ask you how you like the job, and are genuinely supportive. What you get from her? A grudging, “Hey, that’s great. I’m happy for you,” and then mutinous silence any time the topic of work comes up. You can feel the resentment pouring off of her in waves. Mention anything wrong in your life, and she’s glad to lend an ear. Mention anything good, and she becomes distant and cold.

This is a huge red flag. Friendship is reciprocal. When times are tough, we meet in a place of genuine empathy and do our best to help each other get through it. When things are going well, we celebrate each other’s successes as if they were our own. Someone who is spiteful and envious is not your friend. It’s okay to think, “Wow, Annie’s career has really taken off. I wish mine was going so well.” But if the thought is more along the lines of, “Why does Annie always get the best breaks? It’s not fair! It should be me!” Then we’ve crossed the line into resentment territory, and this type of person will gladly stab you in the back if it means they get ahead. Especially if it’s instead of you.

avoid disrespectful friends

4.) The Debbie Downer: Nothing is ever good. Nothing. The emphasis is always on the worst aspect of every situation. They had a date and saw a movie, but the popcorn was stale, the soda was flat, and they ran out of gas on the way home. They have a great new job with a corner office, but the windows make it so drafty. Their kid made straight A’s, but can you believe that loser didn’t make the football team? If you bake them a pie, the crust was a little soggy, but, no, don’t worry, it still tasted okay. When you buy them a birthday present, the color isn’t really them, but thanks for the thought! Every single thing is tinged with negativity.

I am 100% against toxic positivity. You know those girls posting “no negative vibes ever” on Instagram who unfollow you because you complained when you broke your leg? The ones who refuse to watch the news because they can’t handle seeing anything distressing? Yeah, refusing to acknowledge a problem only causes it to fester. It isn’t possible to always be a little ray of sunshine. But constant negativity will kill you. This one is tricky, because some people have depression, or they could be going through a divorce or another traumatic event. I don’t subscribe to toxic positivity’s “cancel culture,” which says it’s totally okay to ditch someone for “lowering your frequency.” But you have to remember that, according to science, negativity is contagious. Vaccinate yourself. Take steps to back away from “co-brooding,” where you both sit there bitching about everything, and start to “co-reflect” instead. Understand the problem. See how you can improve it. Then move on to another topic.

5.) The Frosted Flake: They’re going to meet you in a half hour, but they suddenly text saying something came up. It’s okay. It happens. You’ll meet up next week instead, but then something else comes up. They miss your birthday party because they have a work deadline, but you see pictures of them out clubbing all over Facebook. You always go shopping together on Black Friday, but… sorry, she’s going with her mom this year. (Spoiler alert: She’s probably just ditching you again.)

This is the type of friend you can cut out of you inner circle with relative ease simply because… you rarely ever see them anyway. Maybe have a chat with them and let them know you miss spending time with them. Maybe they didn’t realize how much they were ditching you. Or maybe they’ll ghost altogether. You never know. Whether they have a new bestie, a new partner, or you’ve just grown apart, you’ll be much happier when you stop setting yourself up for a sad evening spent on the couch watching Netflix because your plans fell through… again. Take a pottery class and make friends with someone who is dedicated enough to show up every week and get her hands dirty instead of moping over someone who won’t make time for you.

6.) The Asshole: This one should be self-evident, but you would not believe the number of people who are friends with assholes and wonder why they always feel like shit after spending time with their “best friend.” You’re a devout Catholic, and your Atheist friend always jokes about you talking to “Sky Man.” Or maybe you’re an Atheist, and your very Christian friend always tells you she “hopes you’ll accept Jesus into your heart.” Maybe your only goal in life is to be a mother of two, and your friend won’t shut up about how much they loathe children and won’t spend any time around yours. Maybe you don’t want kids, and your friend keeps telling you you’re not really a woman until you have a baby; it’s what you were born to do, and you’ll never know real love until you hold your baby; you’ll change your mind, you know.

I get it! Their beliefs — or lack thereof — are what they find comforting. Their values are what helped them to create a sense of self. They want their friends to experience the same level of joy they feel when they pray or meditate or read Dawkins. They love their children beyond reason and want you to feel the warm, fuzzy feelings they do when they look in on little Timmy sleeping at night. But when they know you have different beliefs and keep trying to help you “see the light,” they’re not actually helping. They’re just being an asshole. Sometimes you can get through to these people, but when they’re fanatical about it and determined to make you see how wrong you are, then they’re being disrespectful of your core beliefs and values. And that is not okay. That’s when it’s time to walk away.

avoid toxic positivity

Breaking up with a friend is never easy. You’ll even miss the flakes and the assholes, but it can be done, and sometimes it’s in your best interest to inventory the people you’ve invited into your heart and evaluate whether or not they’ve earned the right to be there.

Or maybe you were reading this list and said to yourself, “Oh, my God… I’m a Frosted Flake! I have to call Kelsey and apologize!” If you recognize yourself as one of the “toxic” friends and want to improve your friendships, take steps to correct your behaviors.

Confession time: I was the Asshole type. I went through a Militant Atheist Phase™ in college and would aggressively mock anyone who believed in a higher power. Bonus points if I could upset them by pointing out inaccuracies in the Bible. I am so fortunate that I didn’t lose any close friends because of it, but it did cause upset in my family. (I’ve got Irish priests and nuns in the family! Yikes!)

But I grew up. I calmed down. I became more open-minded and less adamant that anyone who disagreed with me was stupid. I’m no longer an Atheist, nor am I a Christian, but I consider myself spiritual. That doesn’t mean I think all Atheists should “see the light.” I don’t want them to. I don’t want anyone to believe in something that doesn’t resonate with them. What I want is for us all to be a little kinder. I want us all to be healthier and happier.

I don’t want someone in my face calling me a dumbass for not being an Atheist any more than I want them attempting to run my life based on their religious beliefs. I didn’t want to deal with assholes, so I stopped being one. And it helped. I am by no means claiming to be a perfect friend, but I care. I make an effort to be supportive and positive. My friends know that if they tell me something in confidence, they won’t be bombarded with texts asking what’s up. They know if I say I’ll be there at 8, barring a major emergency, I’ll be there. I don’t take them for granted, but I’ll never be perfect. No one is. We can only be better than we were.

So take a look at your friends, and then take a look in the mirror. We can improve our lives by removing toxic influences, whether they’re “friends” or internal traits.

Think of it as kind of like The Breakfast Club:

Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you’re crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basketcase, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club.

We can all be a bit of a soap opera star, a gossip girl, a reverse cheerleader, a Debbie downer, a frosted flake, and an asshole. For the most part, don’t hang out with these people. And don’t be one.

Be honest… Have you ever been one of these types of friends? Are you now? Drop me a line in the comments or send a DM on Instagram.